Getting married? Wondering about Prenuptial Agreements?
For anyone who is getting married, embarking on a prenuptial agreement is often a very distressing and disappointing journey. Sometimes the negotiations irreparably damage the marriage, or even cause a couple to break up. The Generous Prenup details the problems that prenups can cause, and gives a couple guidance on how to foster a more peaceful and informed process with more caring and sensitive solutions.
The Generous Prenup will be an invaluable sourcebook for people who are considering having prenups, their families, lawyers, and financial advisors. In addition, married people who finding that disagreements over money are impairing their marriage will find the content of this book extremely useful in analyzing and dealing with the roots of their discord. Postnuptial agreements (agreements made after the marriage) are possible solutions to some of these problems.
This well-researched book, written by a leading attorney in the field, can help a couple understand how prenups change the laws of marriage, and how these changes may affect the marriage itself, for better and for worse. The book contains many helpful techniques to soften the heartlessness that is often embodied in standard prenuptial agreements. The Generous Prenup provides concepts and tools which foster creative and collaborative decision-making.
The Generous Prenup is engaging and easy-to-understand. It contains humor as well as informative illustrations describing typical factual patterns present in many prenup negotiations. The Generous Prenup contains many sections on the dangers of prenups in first marriages. And the book details the challenges and opportunities for couples making essential financial arrangements in second marriages and how prenups can help.
The Generous Prenup explains why, if you decide to have a prenup, mediation may be the best way to start the process. It also explains how to find a suitable prenuptial agreement attorney. The book is a very readable primer of all the laws affecting marriages, and how prenups change
those laws.
Amazon Reviews:
“A very sensible approach to prenups.”
This book is especially helpful to more mature persons contemplating prenups and marriage. The author carefully uses the word “Generous” to underscore that generosity is a key to a loving, lasting relationship. As a retired pastor, I have seen marriages founder when one or both partners are more selfish than generous. I heartily commend this book”
“Incredibly insightful and practically useful!”
This book has completely transformed not only the way I viewed prenups, but the way I viewed marriage. A must read if you’re getting married. Will update review when I finish book!
Update, Several Years Later: Yup, this book has made a huge difference in our marriage. I can see our marriage having a very different vibe if we had not read this book. I imagine us feeling more like two individuals in a partnership vs us in a marriage. So glad I read it.
“Incredibly insightful and practically useful!”
This book has completely transformed not only the way I viewed prenups, but the way I viewed marriage. A must read if you’re getting married. Will update review when I finish book!
Update, Several Years Later: Yup, this book has made a huge difference in our marriage. I can see our marriage having a very different vibe if we had not read this book. I imagine us feeling more like two individuals in a partnership vs us in a marriage. So glad I read it.
Informative, eloquent.
Recently, upon being exposed to the subject of a prenup, I found this book to broaden my horizons. I had listened to a few podcasts and watched a few videos to understand more about this topic previously. Written by someone who practices law would be helpful & so I ordered this book to learn more about the foundations, cause, and effects of prenup on a relationship. I wanted to have as much information as possible before I apply this subjectively in my life, someday. The author has organized this book well enough for the audience to skip the details (as chapters) that could be unnecessary in their situation. I was impressed with how the author has been eloquent about minute details, providing examples where possible to explain better. I read multiple ideas and ingredients that I had never encountered before, which were brilliant.
“Must read if you’re considering a Cohab, Marriage or Domestic Partnership.”
This book gave me the framework to discuss sensitive issues related to a contract my sig other wants to give to me. He feels like it’s a generous gesture on his part, I feel like it isn’t concrete enough, excludes too much and wont provide for me when I need it most. Because of this book I am able to ask him questions about compassionate “what if” scenarios that have him back to redrafting the entire agreement. I cannot be more appreciative!”
“Insightful and informative.”
Well written, smart and clear useful information. Table of contents and introduction make it easy to choose chapters most relevant to one’s situation. Highly recommend!”
“Very Helpful Book.
Excellent book to help guide your conversations regarding finances leading into marriage.“
“Balanced, detailed, thought provoking.
If you are in the US and considering a prenup, you need this book! This is the third book I’ve read on prenups and hands down the best. There is a lot of legal detail (including about what kinds of agreements are possible in various states). Author approaches the subject very thoughtfully and describes some typical clauses and legal language, and why you might or might not want to go that route. Well reasoned. Not heavy in legalese. Informative. Really enjoyed this book.”
“Most helpful tool during an unexpected stressful time
Happened upon this book as this topic arose in my life unexpectedly. I was so pleasantly surprised to read a point of view that was so similar to my own emotionally, yet coming from an attorney! Ms. Israel’s perspective and knowledge clearly comes from vast experience, caring, and a pragmatic way of looking at potentially corrosive situations. She has helped open my mind to even considering this. I also suspect this book, in its vast scope, will be a useful tool in years to come.”
“Read this book if you are getting married!”
Laurie Israel doesn’t just understand law–she understands people. This book is a must for anyone considering marriage, whether a “prenup” is part of the consideration or not, because what it does is clarify precisely how money and marriage are related. It is no accident that many couples argue about money, and feel empowered or disempowered because of it. Women or men who feel they “don’t need” to consider a prenup, or are excluding it on a moral basis, need to read this book. Compulsively well-written, clear, intelligent, and surprisingly compassionate advice for men or women who marry, at any time of life.”
“Wow, so helpful!”
This book has completely transformed not only the way I viewed prenups, but the way I viewed marriage. A must read if you’re getting married. Will update review when I finish book!”
“Readable and Informative
This clearly written and well organized book introduces readers with no legal background to the ins and outs of prenuptial agreements. More than just a review of legal issues and how-to directions, the book offers thoughtful comment on relevant emotional and moral concerns. The author points out, for instance, that marriage offers both partners certain legal protections: in signing a prenup, one partner is voluntarily renouncing those protections. After reading this book, anyone would think twice about signing a prenup . . . and think twice about asking someone else to sign one.”
Leading Experts’ Reviews:
This brilliant book by Laurie Israel is a gift to every marriage, because she shows how to negotiate divisive issues collaboratively, allowing couples to reach agreements on potentially disruptive issues without the pain and acrimony of adversarial, trust-destroying, love-depleting, legalistic strategies. It’s exactly what is needed and is invaluable. A real must-read.
– Kenneth Cloke, Mediator and author of The Dance of Opposites: Explorations of Mediation, Dialogue and Conflict Resolution Systems Design
Laurie Israel’s The Generous Prenup is an instant classic – by far the best book that I’ve seen on the subject of prenuptial agreements. Its comprehensive scope and exceptional depth put The Generous Prenup in a league of its own. It is accessible – the author has a knack for explaining complex legal issues in plain English, with useful examples drawn from her work as a lawyer and mediator.
– David A. Hoffman, Esq., Founder, Boston Law Collaborative, LLC and Lecturer on Law at Harvard Law School
Laurie Israel raises critical issues in her book, and brings a welcome new perspective on the challenges of a premarital agreement. Her focus on generosity – rather than greed – sets the perfect tone and reorients us to the goals of the marriage. She tells enlightening stories and shares her knowledge and suggestions with a clear mind and a gentle hand, making this a vital resource for attorneys and clients alike.
– Frederick Hertz, Attorney/Mediator, Oakland, California
The Generous Prenup opens an important new door for couples, their friends and families, and their professional advisors as well, providing a wise and experienced perspective on prenuptial and postnuptial agreements that has never before been available. Laurie Israel shows you how you might negotiate an agreement more creative and generous than most lawyers have ever imagined possible. This is a major piece of work that will fill an important need.
– Pauline H. Tesler, Collaborative Lawyer, Mill Valley, California
This is about to become the “go-to” book for couples contemplating marriage and considering a prenup, as well as lawyers and mediators who work in this field. Laurie Israel’s comprehensive book fills the need for something that has been missing for a long time – namely, one volume that covers every conceivable question that one could raise and how the process can remain a “generous” one. I look forward to giving the next couple who contacts me copies of Laurie’s book so that I may truly help them go through the process in the most “generous” way.
– Ken Neumann, Mediator, New York, New York
Laurie Israel’s book, “The Generous Prenup,” reminds us that we can take family law problems to another level, one not taught in law schools — generosity. As lawyers, we know that the family law problems brought by clients are frequently not primarily legal problems; they are deep human problems in which law is involved. Laurie Israel has given us a book of wisdom dealing with the specific subject of prenuptial agreements, a human problem in which law is involved.
– John Fiske, Attorney/Mediator, Cambridge, Massachusetts
Chapter List
Table of Contents
Introduction: The Prenup Myth
Chapter 1: Why I Changed My Mind about Prenups
Chapter 2: Who Might Think They Need a Prenup? The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly
Chapter 3: Who Else Might Benefit from a Prenup?
Chapter 4: What Are “Generous” Prenups and the Role of “Contribution” in Marriage?
Chapter 5: How Did Prenups Originate and How Popular Are They?
Chapter 6: How Do People Get a Divorce? Let Me Count the Ways
Chapter 7: What Happens If You Marry without a Prenup?
Chapter 8: Prenups for Wealthy People and for People from Wealthy Families
Chapter 9: Do I Need a Prenup to Protect My Business?
Chapter 10: How a Prenup Can Help with Estate Planning
Chapter 11: The “Gray” Prenup: Should Senior Newlyweds Prenup, Too?
Chapter 12: Are LGBT Prenups Different from Other Types?
Chapter 13: She’s Coming from a Foreign Country to Marry Me. What about Immigrant Spouse Prenups?
Chapter 14: Prenups with Infidelity Clauses and Other “Lifestyle” Provisions
Chapter 15: What’s Alimony Have to Do with It?
Chapter 16: What Are the Drawbacks of Prenups?
Chapter 17: Is There a Way to Make Both Parties Happy?
Chapter 18: Are All Prenups Enforceable?
Chapter 19: The Postnup: A Powerful Tool to Be Handled with Care
Chapter 20: What Are the Ways to Begin the Process?
Chapter 21: Lawyer or Mediator: How Can We Find a Good One?
Acknowledgments
Legal Disclaimer
Index